It’s All an Illusion: The Rise of the Social Media Star

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I love watching “beauty gurus” on YouTube. Occasionally I’ll watch family vlogging channels as well. A common trend that I’ve noticed in the comment section is that a lot of viewers think these people have perfect lives. Some examples of comments are:

  • “Your baby is the the cutest, smartest baby on YouTube.”
  • “I love your family, you guys give me life.”
  • “You are so perfect.”

I think it’s all well and good to get inspiration from the people we see on various social media sites. It becomes a problem when we begin to put them on a pedestal and believe that they don’t have issues, fears, insecurities, and problems, just like the rest of us.

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Be Miserable By Yourself! By Tasha Richardson

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Shine On

October is National Bullying Prevention Month.  Join the movement, ‘Bullying Ends with Me.”  Stomp Out Bullying and check out PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center website to learn more!

In life, there are some people who would love to tear you down and bring you to their level. These people go by various names especially by the term haters, toxic people, and nay sayers.  However, the term does not matter at all.  This is because hurting people hurt people and they would love to invite you to their party of misery.

When your light shines brightly, these people would like to eclipse your joy.  So they may attempt to do so by making snide remarks, taking stabs at you by using humour, or make the claim that your way of being infringes upon them or their success.  Stay encouraged if you are going through this or have gone through it!  Know that it is not about YOU–how they treat you, interpret your behaviour, or the stories they make up about you is a reflection of what they think about themselves.  Your light causes them to become fearful because they have a poverty mentality.  They essentially believe that their lights will dim because yours shines.  Dear haters and toxic people, may you one day realize that there is such abundance in the universe, so much so that there is more than enough to go around!  We are all worthy of the best that life has to offer–the only question is who is willing to own that instead of getting caught up in comparisons and battles of will.

Take consolation in knowing that their behaviour is impersonal–and that you neither have to agree nor seek to ‘set the record straight.’  This is because their opinions and perceptions of you are “between them and their self-esteem,” a phrase often said by motivational speaker Tei Street.  The best thing you can do for the haters is to continue being your wonderful and authentic self–even as their words, comments, and behaviours seek to effectively destroy your person, enjoining you to be less than you really are.

Know this, you are okay exactly as you are.  If those around you seek to convince you otherwise, reevaluate who you choose to surround yourself with.  Just because you get invited when misery is knocking at your door does not mean you have to open the door and accept it.  You open the door by a) your own negative thoughts and patterns, b) reacting to what they say, c) accepting their skewed vision to be your reality, and d) engaging in the power struggles that their own weak egos need to engage in feel significant.  Consider these powerful words by Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements: “Nothing other people do is because of you.  It is because of themselves…You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said” (48).

When the haters attempt to infiltrate your life, remember that you do not need to welcome them in.  Be mindful of the toxic treatment, self-limiting beliefs, and hater like ways you’ve employed upon yourself.  Treat yourself with kindness and continually affirm that there is a place for you and that the way you are is exactly how you need to be to do the work and fulfill the purpose that you were put on this Earth to complete.  You are precious and perfect as you are, so continue treating yourself that way especially by leaving the haters to seethe all alone.  In fact, use their disdain to fuel your own journey of excellence.  Say thank you and remember the words of Marie Forleo, “sometimes a put-down is the best fuel to fire you up” use these put-downs to catapult you to your ‘elevator moment’ whereby you use these occurrences as catalysts to continue being the best you you can be.

Useful Information:

Quit Holding Your Breath! By Tasha Richardson

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Holding Your Breath“Now is just not a good time, I have so many other things to take care of first.”  “I just don’t know what happened!  I just woke up one day, and here I am…it would be too hard to change now.”  “It’s no use!  My life won’t get better until ______ happens.”

Do the above statements sound familiar?  These statements should be termed ‘holding your breath’ statements.  This is because the person who says them is holding his or her breath until the perfect moment occurs.  This perfect moment exists in the future or it is tethered to the nostalgia of the past, which the person wishes could be recreated.

Recognize the areas of your life where you run from the action that the present moment is calling you to.  Where is it that you have been reminiscing about the past, dreaming up the future, and remaining paralyzed in the present?  Identify one area where you have noticed this and take action today!  Your action can be big or small–just do something.  In the words of poet June Jordan, “We are the One’s We’ve been Waiting for.”  That moment, person, situation, or circumstance will never come–even when it seems like it has or will.  Your life is waiting for you to accept it as it is, embrace the present moment, and ACT in the way you see fit.  You can do it–you are so amazing and awesome!  Just try it–the worst you can do is fail and choose to go back to the way you’ve always done things.

Helpful Readings:

  1. Time Warrior by Steve Chandler
  2. How to rid yourself of analysis paralysis
  3. The Secret to Defeating Analysis Paralysis (and Why You Don’t Do It)
  4. 11 Ways to Overcome Analysis Paralysis
  5. You Have To Start Somewhere: 4 Steps to Eliminating Decision Paralysis

Best of luck on your journey!  May you live a whole life and greet the world with your light, no apologies necessary!

Just Decide by Tasha Richardson

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Today, just decide to accept the fact that only you can do what it is that has been put on your heart to do.  Each of us has a unique set of dreams, gifts, and talents that only we can unleash into the world.  Many of us have been shrinking from the greatness that exists within.  Examine the areas of your life and see where you have been waiting for permission, apologizing, or failing to show up.  You will be surprised with what is awaiting you should you make the choice to decide to accept that you are worthy and that no one can be you or do you.  Will Smith said, “There’s a redemptive power that making a choice has…Make a choice. Just decide what it’s going to be, who you’re going be, how you’re going to do it. Just decide.”  By failing to decide to embrace yourself and what you have to offer, you have been making the choice to live a life that is not befitting of who you are really are.  If you are looking for a place to start, on making the decision to live a life without apology and permission within your career, checkout this article by Liz Ryan.  At the very least, pause and notice where you’ve failed to show up and make the intention to at least decide that you can live–and are worthy–of the best that life has to offer and that you have the ‘goods’ that no one else can provide us with on this Earth.  Just decide because you are worth it!  

When…? by Tasha Richardson

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“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry our their dream.” Les Brown

When will you give yourself permission to step into the life and the greatness that exists within?  It is time to let go of excuses–enough is enough.  Today, what is the song, dream, or desire that is burning in your heart that you’ve postponed or stifled because you have been waiting for someone or something to give you a yes?  We’ve been given this gift called life so that our unique gifts and talents could live.  There is no time like now to act…begin where you are!  If you need some tips on how to begin to live boidly, unabashedly, and unapologetically see the links below:

  1. How to Stop Waiting for Permission
  2. Live Your Life Outloud: 30 Ways to Get Started
  3. How to Live an Apology Free Life

You can start living now and gracing us all with your gifts and talents because you are worth it!  In the comment box below, let us know what actions you are currently taking to  have the life you want!  Let us know the moment you stopped asking yourself when or why and seized the opportunity to take immediate action.  Best of luck on your journey today!  Let the words of Marianne Williamson touch you where you need to be touched:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”