Lesson #13: Fear = Fuel


Today is our 28th birthday.  I thought it would be befitting to publish this post as  I enter a new year in my life.  This year I have been challenging myself to do things that I have been afraid to do. Through my journey I have learned so much and want to share my lessons with you.  A big takeaway that I have is that the things you fear can fuel you to change your life for the better.  Doing things I fear have allowed me to see build my self-confidence and let go of previous limiting beliefs.

Several of my fears I worked towards overcoming since the beginning of 2015.  And I admit, I’m a little afraid to share those fears with you, but I have decided to do so in the hopes that I can help someone.

Fears that fueled me to become better:

    • Wearing sunglasses:  For some strange reason when I was a teenager I made decided that I couldn’t wear sunglasses because one of my ears was higher than the other.  I thought they would look lopsided on me.  This summer I bought my first pair of sunglasses in years.  And I think I look pretty darn good with them on.
    • Wearing sandals: My first two jobs I had after graduating from college required me to wear closed toe shoes for safety purposes.  Ever since then I never wore sandals.  I had an irrational fear that I would get hurt on the job if I wore sandals. The same day I bought the sunglasses, I bought 2 pairs of sandals and I wore them to work!
    • Performing without memorizing my poem: This past spring, I performed at an open mic night.  I recited a poem I already memorized.  I also had a poem on my phone, that I didn’t have memorized.  I read it anyway!  Afterwards I felt so powerful because I had the courage to share my story.  Other people read their poems from papers too.  The whole experience made me realize it’s okay to just share what I have to offer even if it’s not perfect.
    • Reading a poem at my aunt’s funeral:  This was one of the most difficult things that I have done to date.  I wanted to express my love for my aunt. One message I shared with the congregation was to tell your loved one’s that you love them while they are still living.  I was blessed to tell my aunt that I loved her a week before she died.
    • Going back to the classroom to be a teacher: One of the reasons I have been M.I.A. from the blog is because I have returned to teaching in an elementary school.  Taking the chance to apply for teaching jobs after being out of the classroom for 5 years was very scary for me.  One reason I was scared to go back was because I didn’t want to make the same mistakes I made as a student teacher. Everyday I am learning and I realize that I am so different than I was back then.  I’m better, wiser, and I have a completely different outlook on life.  Teaching this year has not been easy, but I’m grateful to God that I embraced my fear rather than continuing to run away.




My takeaways:

  • When I let go of past limiting beliefs, I realize that I can create a new and positive opinion about myself.
  • That sharing my story with others is more powerful than waiting for everything in my life to be perfect before sharing my story.
  • My confidence has dramatically increased since I have done things I’m afraid to do
  • It’s not as bad as you feared it would be
  • I have the power to create a new self-empowering, abundant reality.

This is the start of a new year for me since I am 28.  I hope that as we enter the final weeks of 2015, that you take this opportunity to use your fears as fuel.   Let them fuel you to become better.  Don’t wait until January 1, 2016 to make to a change.  Do it now.


Love Always,

Tanika Monique


Forever & Always

Always & Forever

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