Lesson 21: Abandon the Vision

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Have you ever envisioned accomplishing a goal? Every detail was in your mind’s eye. In reality, you accomplished your goal, but it didn’t look like how you pictured it. I certainly have. This is why I think we need to abandon the vision. We have to let go of the picture we have in our minds and be open to all the ways we can accomplish our goals.

I’ve been wanting to write this lesson for many years, but this lesson really applied to my life within the past few weeks. I have always wanted to be a mother and by the grace of God I can say that I am. In my mind I wanted to have a natural birth and to exclusively breastfeed. Well guess what? God had other plans for me.

My labor and delivery and my feeding methods were not what I wanted or expected. BUT I still get the same results:a healthy baby MashaAllah. Instead of being upset everyday because things didn’t go as planned, I had to abandon my vision of how I wanted things to be. I had to focus on the results instead.

I don’t know what you are going through or what your goals are. But I do know that there are many ways you can work towards achieving your goals. Focus on the end result and be open to all the possible ways of getting there.

Be blessed. Be positive. Be you.

Love Always,

Tanika Monique

Always & Forever

Forever & Always

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Lesson #20: Get Surrounded by Positivity

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In my last blog post, Lesson #19: If You Can Conceive it, You Can Achieve It , I shared with you some of the paintings that I created to decorate my home.  One of the reasons I was so determined to create them was so that I could remind myself to remain positive.  A while ago, I found myself watching news videos about horrid crimes. I had to take a pause and say, “Hold up Tanika, what are you doing?”  It’s good to be informed about what’s going on in the world. However, to constantly subject myself to every story about killings, stabbings, and shootings was bad for my mental health. With all the negativity that is going on in the world it’s important to surround yourself with positivity.  

I’m not an expert on positivity, but I have learned and incorporated several things in my life that have helped me to feel more optimistic.  I want to share with you some of the things I do to help me feel motivated and inspired.

 

  1. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.
  2. Buy or create artwork that is inspirational.  In every room of my house I have artwork with motivational messages.  In my previous post, I shared with you the paintings in my living room and bathroom.  My shower curtain also has the message “positive vibes only.” I also like putting prayers and affirmations on my front door, so I can say them when I leave the house.
  3. Download affirmation apps
  4. Watch and listen to things that uplift you
  5. Make a daily gratitude list
  6. Do something daily that makes you feel good—dance, watch your favorite show, cook a delicious meal etc.
  7. If you are religious, read your holy book.

 

What are some things you do to stay positive? Comment below.

 

Love Always,

Tanika Monique

Always & Forever

Forever & Always

Lesson 19: If You Can Concieve It You Can Achieve It

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“All things are created twice; first mentally; then physically.  The key to creativity is to begin with the end in mind, with a vision and a blueprint of the desired result”

Stephen Covey

 

Several years ago I read the above quote in Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  I remembered it throughout the years, but it wasn’t until I undertook a project that I envisioned and made a reality this week, that the quote really resonated with me. In January of this year, I wrote in my journal that I wanted to create inspirational artwork to decorate my house.  I gave myself the deadline of completing this project by April 2017.

Today is April 15, 2017 and I finished the project on April 12th.  I created 5 canvas paintings for my living area and 3 for my bathroom to remind me to stay positive.  I learned many lessons about moving from conception of an idea to achievement that I want to share with you.

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Create a New Normal by Tasha Richardson

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Picture Change New NormalHave you ever wondered why it seems like you keep facing the same problems or struggles over and over again?  You managed to change your life, your outlook, or at least accomplish some goal that you’d wanted, and you were sure that this time–this umpteenth time–everything would stick, allowing you to move on to bigger and better successes.  This was until, with utter disappointment, dismay, and defeat, you found that those changes you made disappeared as quickly as roaches do when the lights are turned on.

The notion of change is so seductive and exciting, especially when you finally feel empowered enough to want to pursue it.  It tantalizes us into believing that once we capture it–it is ours forever.  How can we avoid the trappings of ‘change’s’ siren song?  How can we create true and lasting change?

Food for Thought

Realize that you (and everything else around you) are always in a state of evolution and flux. Accept the fact that the only change that is permanent is change itself.  Elizabeth Gilbert best describes the relationship between change and motion.  She states, Change is all about motion, motion is all about uncertainty and we are deeply uncomfortable with uncertainty.”  In addition to our discomfort with change, many of us become complacent after we do manage to ‘change’ and reach our vision of success.  For example, those of us who finally lose the weight we’ve been carrying around feel so good about that feat that we end up getting comfortable, thereby slipping back into the bad habits that allowed us to be overweight in the first place.

Create a New Normal. What is the new normal that you MUST accept in order to continue to have the quality of life that you’ve worked so hard to create?  Part of creating that new normal is shedding old defeating beliefs about yourself and the world around you.  Your new normal becomes your non-negotiable.  For example, in November 2011 Tanika and I became vegan, gluten-free, and caffeine-free.  In order for our change to have been sustainable over the last 3.5 years, we had to sever our connection and emotional affiliation to what it meant to eat meat, animal products, etc. and wholeheartedly create the new normal where meat, animal products, chocolate, and coffee no longer fit.  One way to do this is to actively replace those things you give up with something else that fits with your new vision of yourself, all the while realizing that this is something that you must do continually.  To do this requires making a series of adjustments.

Be grateful for all of your failures. It really is like Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  Gratitude for failure allows you to appreciate process and have compassion toward life and the many lessons it seeks to teach you.

“Do the Next Right Thing.” One slip up does not have to define you.  You have the power to choose and to choose those things that will elevate you at any given moment.  For more information about this concept, check out Matthew Kelly’s great book called Perfectly Yourself and Brian Johnson’s Philosopher’s Notes and video summary.  Doing the next right thing allows you to be unbothered and to reframe failure as a temporary state.

Be Courageous. It takes courage and resilience to look at defeat and failure and still make those necessary changes toward embracing the life that you want to have.

What steps did it take for you to create a new normal?  What are some barriers you are facing now when it comes to living in the life you want?  We would love to hear from you.

Best wishes on your journey–and remember to do you!

Lesson 16: I MATTER

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Before I was my child’s mama, I was Tanika Monique. Before I was my husband’s wife, I was Tanika Monique. Before I was my students’ teacher I was Tanika Monique. As a new mom, I find myself thinking about my child constantly and less and less on myself. I felt like I lost myself in taking care of my child that I stopped taking care of myself. I had to pause the other day and remind myself that I MATTER too.

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Chickpea, Potato, Cauliflower Curry

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All of my recipes come when I have a few ingredients that I need to use before they go bad. I had some week old potatoes, cans of chickpeas, and some frozen cauliflower. So I decided to make this recipe. Please note that I didn’t measure anything for this recipe. Use as much or as little of each ingredient as you like. I made a huge pot of this chickpea potato curry so I wouldn’t have to cook for the week. So if you are having a dinner party or like to meal prep, this is a recipe you surely will love! Here are the ingredients that you need: Continue reading

Southwestern Pasta Salad

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I recently made this delicious pasta salad that I want to share with you. Like a lot of my recipes, I made a huge batch of this southwestern pasta salad so that we won’t have to cook for most of the week. You can adjust the portions to the amount of pasta salad you need. Here are the ingredients you will need:

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Lesson #18: Valentine’s Day Everyday 

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Today is Valentine’s Day, a day to show love to the people in your life. It’s a day to let people know how much you care for them. This is the mentality of many people. Valentine’s Day in reality is just a day–one of 365 or 366 days of the year to express the love you have for the people in your life. Just like you wouldn’t want to wait until a funeral to tell someone you love them, don’t wait until Valentine’s Day to do so.
On this special day I want to express gratitude for the man who shows me love on a daily basis–my husband Sheriffo. He has made me feel extremely loved, honored and respected every day that we have been together. 
He prays for me, encourages me, teaches me new things, helps me sharpen pencils and grade papers at night. As a busy teacher and wife when I accomplish a portion of the many things on my to do list, he is proud of me.
If you are not in a relationship, I pray that you can find someone to treat you the way my husband treats me. Here are just some of the ways you can express love on a daily basis.

Ways to show love everyday:

  • Say I love you
  • Help with the laundry 
  • Cook dinner for your spouse
  • Wash the dishes after your spouse has cooked dinner
  • Pray for and with your spouse
  • Encourage him/her to achieve his or her goals
  • Have fun together 
  • Surprise your loved one with his/her favorite thing
  • Laugh together 
  • Eat dinner together without distractions 
  • Celebrate the small victories with your significant other 
  • Go on date nights a few times a month

Of course there are plenty of ways to express love and gratitude to your significant others. I don’t have all the answers. This post is dedicated to my beautiful husband Sheriffo. I love you always and forever on this day and everyday thereafter!
Love Always,
Tanika Monique 

Always & Forever 

Forever & Always